This is total fiction, not true and not to be taken seriously at all.
There, you have been warned.
Eurovision wouldn’t be Eurovision without a scandal or three.
As the tension builds towards Baku 2012 I wonder whose dirty linen will be washed in public or least represented with a Twitpic.
Scanning over the Euro-landscape this year I reckon there are a few potential belters in the works.
I list all of these totally fictional scandals in a six degrees of separation kind of way … allegedly!
Off we go:
Engelbert Humperdinck found in sex romp with several members of Buranovskiye Babushki.
One of Buranovskiye Babushki caught partaking in illegal substances with a member of the Icelandic delegation.
A member of the Icelandic delegation slamming the door of a room jam packed with Swedish, Danish & Norwegian singers past and present and declaring the eating of reindeer/finnbiff is reason enough for immediate disqualification for “allt blóðug mikið af þeim” (“the whole bloody lot of them”).
A reindeer and singer from a former Soviet bloc nation photographed leaving an illegal casino in Istiqlaliyyət Küçəsi (Istiglaliyyat Street).
A singer from a former Soviet bloc nation decides to sing in his or her native language.
Engelbert Humperdinck announces he will sing “Love Will Set You Free” in the Tamil language of his hometown of Chennai AKA Madras.
None of this will come to pass of course.
But something not that unadjacent to these flights of fancy most certainly will.